(就算是)同一框架

在同一框架
在不同時間
看同一風景
究竟還可有不同的景致
或如昔美滿

和由美子兒語

圖:二月份由美子憂愁地在我的小房間裡呆看天花


這陣子,憂鬱的心情充滿整個空間,就連四壁都無以盛載。
幸好不時總會在路上遇見由美子。

我和由美子的認識非常偶然,去年九月的一個午後,大家都在瘋狂地認識新朋友,
雖然我沒有變得很瘋狂,不過若遇上一見如故的,總不會錯過機會。
就是這樣,在學校宿舍附近的一個小角落,第一眼看見由美子,我已認定這會是我的朋友。

由美子曾在香港大學讀書,會說一點廣東話。她總是說我說起道理時,太像dr cheung。
她時而溫婉,時而強悍,夾雜著日本、香港或無以界定的文化特質,
我們第一次遇著對方,就在街角聊上一小時。
聊的不是語言領域裡那些單純的理解,卻是即使不必解釋很多,都能明白彼此的一種語言,
有時我就覺得由美子像一個成熟而不沾塵的小孩,我們一直聊,聊的笑的都彷彿是別人無法完全理解的兒語。
由美子是傳統的水瓶座,敏感善良而充滿人性之餘,說詞時卻又不離溫文的批判。

這陣子我被後現代主義折騰,我倆一說起becoming一詞就不禁失控。
如 果所有事情都不過是過程,我的存在也只是一個階段,究竟存在又有多重的意義,究竟我的絕望,失落,憤怒將會在什麼時候變成過去,當becoming變得 如此尋常,「我」彷彿已不再是真相,因為所有定義界限都被放諸無以完成的過程之中,說著,我們發現所有談論都變得如此虛無。

我們笑著,說著,造就了二人間的一個笑話。

如果我再要一個情人,我想彼此可達成我和由美子之間這種不造作的溝通。

為什麼你們都喜歡Pete Doherty?

圖: the tellers myspace site

本來打算裝一腔文藝,假意柔情地張揚我對the tellers主音的那份過氣青春期偶像膜拜的情懷。可我無法抵住日烈日下體內那膨漲的亢奮。
他的聲音比gainsbourg來得性感,中間夾著早晨嘆過一回latte後,混和著煙草的青澀。
操流利英文,然淡淡的法文口音還是忍不住性感地籠罩住我和維黃利雅的耳朵。
(可知道說法文的不限法國人呢!)
聽罷他如何隨意哼出more一曲,我彷彿已被架在雲端,彼此不廢吹灰之力。
繼johnny depp, erlend oye,我想他已後來居上,成為我的夢中情人。
最可惜,他家人給了他一個難聽的名字叫作ben。



caption:維小姐怒吼,can the fucking audience stop their claps! ;DDD


catpion:高領口上衣,及耳的長曲髮,超修長腿,你還想要求什麼啊?


caption:今個晚上我就要飛去belgium了!!噢噢噢!!!

夏日將至

圖:yumiko

圖:後山的小公園

new cross在烈日下沙塵滾滾,我平日的生趣只來自yumiko及這個後山小公園。

電音停不了

今年可能是最後的暑假,誰願意和我一同扎營往benicassim看camp到不能的西班牙synth pop組合cielo????

去向未明,只好先看看mv止住心癢罷。



***uv party website

why do we talk so much?

pix: those silences


amongst those routino readings, madi's loveletter to patpat hits me. cant help the tears for her sacrifice and those burning affection for young life and love.

"So when we had a big fight last time, and when you told me again that you felt boring here and you didn't know if you loved me or not, I felt so empty to stay here, even I gave myself many reasons to move to Xiamen, but I know the most important reason was you. (hey, honey, I don't want to remind you those sad things with these, just a step to go on my words.) so I decided to be strong and to be independent, I should learn how to live alone and try to get what I want again, like all I did at the year of graduation.

I don't know if you think we can do better in China, I don't know if you want to go somewhere else, I don't know if you want to go to London with me, I don't know if YOU DO WANT TO LIVE WITH ME FOR MORE DAYS. I don't know WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ME IN YOUR MIND, I don't know if YOU DO LOVE ME. I just want to tell you, I do care about MLDD, I do want to go on our photo dairy for whole my life, and when you hold me in the morning, I just want to lay with you and think of nothing, I don't really know what you can give me and if you would have another big fight with me like that in the near future (haha), I do want to make the decision to live with you and love you forever, if you can give me the confidence.

If you can give me the confidence, we can decide everything together, I am not only think of myself, but think of us."
-- from madi to patpat

feel as if walking in the labyrinth these days. among linguistic tricks. i keep questioning. in order to seek a feeling. hysteria. i do not mean to ask. i am trying to seek a feeling. but i dont know how to. i cannot touch i cannot smell i cannot sense i can only feel through noises. the cheapest convenient and instant tool of communication.
but why do we talk so much? can i just skip talking and thinking but let my senses and body feel? if words mean a lot, can we stop nagging at each other? how can i break the geographical distance without having too much disturbing silence among us?

book for tonight: the meme machine - susan blackmore

i want to stop thinking and just let myself fill with love.

when love is young

圖:promrise hill

問美國同學julia barry 有關那個和她分隔兩地的男友,她說我們從來就很少住在同一個城市。
那你怎麼辦?
她說沒怎麼辦,是他就是他了‧

我現在彷彿明白‧愛情真不好說。

When love is young, as fresh as dew
A song is sung, so warm and new,
It winds its way, bursts into blue
An April day turned into June
Summer is born.

I walk the fields, there’s warmth above
The thought it yields is of my love
A lazy stream, its solitude
A summer dream, a quiet mood
Plays on my mind.

The summer of a young girl’s life
Is meant for love not pain or strife
a time for change, a time to stay
to rearrange for another day
Another day.

song from free design