怎麼圍滿我的都是抑鬱者

他說他討厭他的側臉。幸這張照裡有曲髮遮掩。

失意滿途,準備躲往圖書館看Luis Bunuel的The Phantom of Liberation之際,小男孩給我來電說要找人訴苦。想來不知是誰有苦要人訴,其實。也許如果不是小男孩要跟我一同喋喋不休,我的抑鬱亦會如同空氣一樣壯大。
於是,他裝一臉苦笑,怎麼你引來的都是抑鬱者。


oh my god its like im fucked by a man from behind...

what is this?
my ni-...
your nipples?wow!
my nee... knees......

hey you look like the girl in the movie?
what who is that? anna karina? jean luc godard's women?
no.. that movie... mm.. the rain...
T.T ; (sweat)

我就係唔跟你番鬼佬,唔同你飲你d番鬼酒

圖:窗外(一月廿四日倫敦初雪)

you complain too much!
一向喜好陪我發牢騷的香港友人,這夜忽然降了火,回贈我這樣一句。
有怨無路數,雖說正能量是可以互相傳染的,可我的負能量如此盛大,只好依賴文字發發火。
入鄉(不)隨俗好,於是我就不同你D番鬼佬講通融之道。我入吧就是不跟你點啤酒,就連corona都唔要。
於 是N. Rose (‘Assembling the Modern Self’ in Re-Writing the Self, p. 250)這樣寫“we are ‘assembled’ selves, in which all the ‘private’ effects of psychological interiority are constituted by our linkage into ‘public’ languages, practices, techniques and artifacts.”
EXCUSE ME, MAY I HAVE COKE PLEASE?
任你瞪眼,擠一個訝異眼神,我就是不和你講你的公共語言,請你亦要尊重我自己比錢攪我的這個個人生活小抗議。

我就係唔跟你D番鬼佬,唔同你飲你D番鬼酒。

荒木經惟

Title Tokyo Nude
Artist Nobuyoshi Araki
Work Date 1989

想當年在東京周未總是一人獨自遊逛,當時因為這張裸照而買下了不是特別好喜歡的村上春樹的小說,"Spunik Sweetheart",小說竟然出奇地吸引,不過最奇的是事隔多年,這個晚上在一個非常偶然的機會下,我方才發現這個招人的封面原來是荒木經惟的傑作。

究竟,有無人有興趣同我影下nude?

Title Pola Eros
Artist Nobuyoshi Araki
Work Date 1999 - 2001

樹影婆娑

from white chapel to bricklane‧
i saw the chinese black and white calligraphy swinging upon my face.

倫敦,你好

是後來方才知道倫敦的潮濕是如斯教人搔癢,久違一陣子,心緒不寧,從遠地下機,甫出機艙,撲鼻而來是那濕漉漉的空氣,方驚覺家的基本概念還包括那份對空氣的依戀。
倫敦的閒省生活除了包括生氣及罵人以外,就是做蛀書蟲,更多時候就是做音樂痴,近日在聽lily allen
她有這首歌LDN:


There was a little old lady,
Who was walkin down the road,
She was struggling with bags from Tesco.
There were people from the city havin' lunch in the park,
I believe that is called 'al fresco'.
When a kid came along to offer a hand,
But before she had time to accept it,
Hits her over the head - doesn't care if she's dead,
'Cause he's got all her jewellery and wallet!

You might laugh - you might frown,
Walkin round London town.

(Chorus)
Sun is in the sky, oh why, oh why
Would I wanna be anywhere else?
Sun is in the sky oh why, oh why
Would I wanna be anywhere else?
When you look with your eyes,
Everything seems nice...
But, if you look twice,
You can see it's all lies!

我正百無聊賴

你問今天我做什麼了,我答沒有什麼。

十時一個人醒來,小妹子還在甜甜地睡。十二時她梳洗過後,我們一同下廚,把莞西、蕃茄、檸檬汁加入couscous,放進焗爐半小時,做了個美味的午餐。









飽食後,我們閒話家常,聽聽音樂,又已日落。
小妹子和朋友外出,我一人呆著,錄錄音,又過了一天。

然後,你給我來個電話,胡扯一會,聽一首Erlend Oye
最近的solo project。

又完成了一個百無聊賴的周五。

des amours... dans la salle des pas perdus...

the lovers@after school


"Ne t'inquiete pas tres chere, we will swing at the samba of our hearts
that beat... that beat... as our windows open wide their shades as we
open our eyes towards one another when we meet..."


不想多寫。
這種飄渺實無法以文字形容。

i love adoration ;P

竟然有人說及我。
還有那麼多讚賞。

She is not there for your exploration --- you can only understand her with your wildest imagination. she claimed that she didn't know what's in my brain, but then i'd recommend preserving and dissecting hers after her death (let's forget about einstein's).

as a professional traveller, she can move freely to and from reality. it seems that there's a vein of melancholy in her character, but i see her as motivated and industrious --- reality is ugly, so she actively creates her own. her very own little world is colourful and surreal, probably a parisian fairy tale. her existence is a reminder of how bleak reality can be.

but you cannot jump to the conclusion that she's out of touch -- she knows what she wants and will eventually achieve it. her existence is a reminder of the numerous possibilities in life.

i've read the exchange of letters between her and her special someone. i've witnessed how my heart has been broken when she sang in her angelic voice "we only could be friends". her existence is a reminder of what romanticism really is.

her existence is a reminder of how marsians like me can survive on this planet called earth.

i am pretty sure that humankind will find its salvation if it's edine who appropriated the apple in eden that day. she'd turn it into apple juice. or even fruit punch.

i want it non-alcoholic please.

text & photo: phy

my photographer uses leica

lamma beach sunday



怎麼這麼多的巧合，我認識的你原來又認識她／他。
周日，我們一同在海邊，又一同脫光了。

我們在酒吧，他問人借一支薄荷煙。
瞇著細眼，吐著霧。
我又問人借來一支。
我又瞇著我的大眼睛，吐著霧。
這時，我的拉架攝影師忍不住問了。
你不會抽煙的對不。
於是他鼓著腮學我的不吞雲即吐霧。
於是我看著他的眼睛再瞇成一。
大口湧出了像火山般的霧團。
這時我也忍不住說了。
你也不會抽煙對不。
其實我不是不會只是不想把煙吸進去。
就像，不是不想用拉架只是不想花光身家。

親密的疏離

　　「接近誰誰都不會快樂這些我都知。」



辦公室多冷。
有多冷，
你撫我的心臟，
都沒有溫度。
我一直打字，
為那一篇沒完沒了的新聞稿，
一直裝作鎮靜地在打，
以為自己在跳一隻冷凍了的熱情探戈。
一個人。
想給你再寫一篇又一篇的情信，
又是一個人在寫。
我的午晝，
你的凌晨，
我的藍色周一，
你的快樂周日，
你的我的他的她的。
如何把线條拉緊，
再慢慢放下，
讓她垂直地貼著現實，
如何疏離地貼近花火。
我看著左面，
你的右面也伸過來。

tu me manques, toi aussi?!

照片:東京Disney Sea


煙草、咖啡因、卡樂b、陽光的溫度都無法透徹描繪出對你的想像(念)。

聽Julia Hummer。就是如此簡單。

有點語塞，還是聽歌吧。






AS SIMPLE AS CAN BE - Julia Hummer

i know some day
someone will come and say
somehow i like your style you really blow my mind
though i am grown
i still believe in love
i want you to do too
i am in love with you
aren´t you with me?

as simple as can be

i know some day
someone will come and say
i really like your style you got me running wild
the day that i saw you
i stopped taking the drugs
you are so beautiful to me it sets me free

as simple as can be

i know some day
someone will come and say
somehow i like your style
you got me running wild
the day that i saw you i stopped taking the drugs
and though i´m grown i´m so in love

as simple as can be

and you ask me what´s your name
and i say whatever you want it to be
and you say fine what´s with friend
and i say fine what´s your name
and you say friend
and then we´re friends
and you say fine now that we´re friends
and you say fine then why not dance and i say i´d like to dance and then you take my hand and then we dance
and that´s all

as simple as can be

就是懷著這樣的一種心情，我們看著眼前無際的大海。




check HER out

i love the beach. i love kobe.

由粉紅a、whitest boy alive到salsa，石澳成了我倆的舞池，下周一定要帶個手提stereo!

lets get lost

poetry doesnt fully describe. non do the senses.
lets get lost. lets get lost. chet baker sings it all

Je t'aime tres fort.
et toi?

heart harmonica

@Park 19 exhibition"trivia" 020706

found my harmonica
found my mirror
life has never been better

you are my mirror

"not only the docu is about giving a voice to these unknown musicians... it's also about giving a voice to everyone... we all deserve to tell our story, no matter how insignificant we may think it is... there is a universality in it that is so true and endearing...

I REALLY THINK WE SHOULD MEET -or- WILL BE BOUND TO MEET... We see things with such great understanding.. I think our spirit might have somehow communicated a long long time ago... through some unknown extra-dimensional sensorial space to be discovered... or we're just a two in a million who have somehow found each other by chance... but then again, in my life, be it love, be it friendship, or collaboration even with my closest friends... I have not yet seen such a similitude in tastes (isn't it strange we loved the same songs and put them on our profile...), vision, and sight..

Je t'embrasse du fond du coeur!
Ton ami, ame-soeur... virtuel....

Kai"

不能再強說愁，嘆謂細水長流多美。我還是老樣子，不用花很長時間喜歡別人，也不會花很長時間討厭著別人。
問我喜歡的電影，都是有關巧合，兩生花，before sunrise，the lovers of the artic circle，不就像我和你，鏡子與鏡子碰面的偶然反射。
七月很美很美，十月呢？

a silent sigh

沈默哽咽


你在霧中踏步離去
我看著我們之間
碎片紛紜
我別過臉
讓沈重
不再蔓延


poem @2000/2001

i should be happier

油麻地周日麻麻地 29.6.2006


ithinkishouldbehappierithinkishouldnofullstopnoquestionma
rkiknowishouldbuthowshouldidowheneverbruisesattackjustlikebluesgre
enspaklesasifnaturalgrassesbutnothinghelpssinceyouleavewhywhywhyy
ouhavetofallawaywhereareyouwhereareyoudoyouhearmedoyouwherearethe
echoesthatpullustogetherwhyitjustfailsthanksfayyuthanksahsunthanks
kobethankspinkathankspolkatosthanksmomthankseveryonebeingthemselve
sthanksthesadsongsthanksthissundaythanksyaumateiforbeingyourselfbut
butbuthowcanwefacethepastcanwefacethepresentcanyoubebymysidecanyou
justnotfallawayallofasuddenwhereistheusualintimacywhereisthelovewh
ereareyouihavethestonetheunremovablestonemaybetomorrowitwill
beheremaybenotijustwanttobeforgetfulasifihavebeenonlyinadreamonlyi
nadreamsoiknowishuldbehappiershouldi?

欲罷不能

有多久沒有收過別人給我畫作,好像已很久了,很想說我實在很喜歡別人給我送畫。故此把慾望投射,曾也給ex偶像及好友送上私人畫作。今天終於也夢想成真,還要是來自這個素未謀面的女孩,哪啦,你定是夏日最甜的那顆士多啤梨。
怎麼你的平面畫總像立體雕塑,使我想起了niki de saint phalle 那座夢寐以求的tarot garden及剛在上月去了位於韓國的那座dalki theme park 都是同樣的悅目。想說千次謝謝。

「怎麼那朵花無左架?」
「因為我偷去了。」

好吧,親愛的,謝謝你逕自偷走我的哀愁,把世界變成繽紛的波點。

if i cud choose again

the vietnamnese collage




HOME AGAIN.
lost and confused.

HOW are you?

IF i Could be able TO choose AGAIN. I would rather be only FRIENDS.
INSTEAD of strangers.






music: like those films@watine