2023年2月24日我的心掉了一塊

想偷偷地給你寫一封道別信，像你今天悄悄地離去，不告而別。

          去年的春天我們再次聊天，也許之間已經隔了17個春天，我說很喜歡你的新作。你直接問我要不要一起和唱，就像你的音樂一樣，簡單不軌彎。我不加思索當下答應，可惜從回港以後一直生病，我最後也沒法出席。

後來在一個奇妙的24小時內，你唐突問我要不要約會，我受竉若驚，可當日我已病入高肓，沒有直接回應你，是可以接受還是拒絕，我到今天也說不出來。當天，你等得不耐煩又跟我道別，說不想拖拉。我們，就這樣我們冷戰了數個月，之後也沒有提及這事。

九月的時候，你就送上這數個Guitar Picks，貼心地送上軟中硬三款，我感這是作為和解的小紀念。你又再次問起要不要一起拍MV，可惜我卧病在家一年，真心沒有精力演出。想不到，這已經是我們最後的文字通話。

希望在天上的你知道，你的音樂你的歌詞一直陪伴著我，從年青到中年，你教曉我即使我沒有唯美的嗓音，沒有精緻的五觀，你反鼓勵我說我很得意，你說我要加油靠意志力戰勝病魔。你的音樂從不輕視女性，不會在音樂中把女性看成一種subject of desire，也常為弱勢社群發聲。

我生長在這城，常感到自己是一個孤獨的靈魂，每次想起你的歌詞，我彷彿看到鏡前的另一個自己，彷彿悄悄說你不是孤獨的。

想起那年你們創造的每一首歌曲，在年青的我來說每一首也是傳奇。

謝謝你璀璨美好的出現，我會永遠記著這光亮，點在我的心頭，永垂不朽。

 

Gröna Höjder 綠色高地

 

綠色的？無邊的你，是你是他是我是⋯⋯？

無意識的，我聽見碰見你，既然再逃不了，那不就不要再逃好了。

我沉默、悲微、暗小，一人坐在黑暗之中，怎麼耳邊傳來的歌者如斯哀慟，淚被置在綠油油的草原，猜測，聽不懂完全，那不代表我聽不懂詩裡的哀悼。

讓你隨風，讓我隨風，一直奔跑在漫漫長夜，從不忘記忘記，讓說不出來的都永遠放在心上。

歌者Dolce 圖來自Gröna Höjder EP

 

無邊的夏至 - 被封閉著的在家日記

21度，這艷陽彷似沒有賞味期限，被困在房子裡的的我，沒有半分侷促，思想無限。
我們的武漢肺炎，有些像催化劑，逼著我們面對生命一些基本課題。
比如：寂寞、生命、理想。
可能以上種種也必須臨時被放棄。

2月15日，我在決定離開斯京的前三天，男孩忽爾在情人節邀約。
我們上幾次（說起已是2018年的事）一直也沒有出來見面，你明天有空嗎，也許是時候出來吧？

奇異簡單的90分鐘，沒有什麼驚天動地的故事值得記錄下來，我們分別的那刻，差不多有15分鐘，兩人僵持在酒店門口，不知道大家在想什麼。我記得那不算是一見鍾情，但是一種淡淡的感覺，是不是傳說中那種逝水長流？

2月16日開始，我給男孩寫短信，他跟我說他喜歡Dolce。我們開始了無間斷的馬拉松很短的短信。我開始每天對他想念，想像下次可以見他，跟他一起面對面，跟他傻傻微笑，跟他胡亂說話，在春天花兒盛開的季節。

3月21日，我們分隔兩地，我在倫敦，他在斯京。在視象我們見面，他給我看他的房子，給我說他的故事。

後來，他說他發現我們還要有很長的時間也沒能見面，他說，要不要暫時 put this on hold。

浪漫的我內心流滿了淚，每晚祈禱上帝給我們多一點時間。
我想念愛情的模樣，那種就算是天掉下來，幸好我還有你的日子。
聽著NYLAS，我永遠永遠記得這光亮。

想起你的臉，你柔和的聲音，心裡有些暖和，有些害怕，卻無法忘懷。

我打翻一片海洋　
變成星星的淚光我剪下了一抹斜陽　
貼在你泛黃的薄暮上我吹起一陣白雪　
在你的眉毛中間盪鞦韆我偷走黑夜的漫長　
塗在你濃密的頭髮上你張開你的臂膀　
沒有到達不了的地方我要好好想一想　
給你什麼顏色的天堂種一朵花在你手上
當你微笑時隨風飄揚
當你皺眉時隨風流浪
我要和時間玩那捉迷藏
永遠永遠永遠記得這光亮讓我看你快樂的模樣  
填滿了陽光你揚起一片海洋  
用春天化妝我臉龐

2014充實地過，2015年就更認真地實現夢想！

it's time to get serious

遊子也有回巢的一天。

Goteborg with the dots

夏至，瑞典的美好，就如把生命再多活一次。

春日

枯木盡發新，櫻桃門前開。

我的倫敦新生活。

小狗與我

sunset through the window

The best way to experience London sunset is through the window while not having to think about work tomorrow 

夢想屋

大貓工廠大廈

有機會我們一定再相會！謝謝你給我的照料與歡笑！

Simple Man

Simple Man

I am a simple man
So I sing a simple song
Never been so much in love
And never hurt so bad at the same time.
I am a simple man
And I play a simple tune
I wish that I could see you once again
Across the room like the first time.
I just want to hold you I don't want to hold you down
I hear what you're saying and you're spinning my head around
And I can't make it alone.
The ending of the tale
Is the singing of the song
Make me proud to be your man only you can make me strong
Like the last time.
I just want to hold you I don't want to hold you down
I hear what you're saying and you're spinning my head around
And I can't make it alone.

目標達成

等待了很長的一段時間，夢想終於成真。感謝上天的安排。
以後的日子，繼續加油。

再見2013， 你好2014

沒有驚喜的2013穩重地終走過了，但願在2014懷抱裡我的夢想可以成真。 

他們說生命像一粒沙 
如果生命它會說話 
它會說謝謝你愛它 
像大海愛著浪花 
我會說謝謝你愛我 
像大海愛著浪花
 

夏日漫游

some gorgeous accident took place
in pinkneys green, a blur of colour
and a noise like was perfume snowdrops on the grass
as i dreamed away you didn't say much
as the days began to fly

﹣ Stephanie, Blueboy

夢想？

有永恆不變的夢麼？
等得太久了，事情已經變了質。
唉！難道變幻就是永恆！

夢想國

西班牙夢想國很美，梁小姐在那裡找到夢中人，那麼我的夢何時圓滿呢？

未忘十年

就這樣他已走了十年。
今天我已不再是當年崇愛他的小女孩，然而那單純的心多年來都沒有改變。
昔日的夢中人已亡，現實中我又可能離夢境中的目的地有多遠呢？

Number 22

22 is considered the most powerful of all the numbers. Those with a Life Path number 22 have great spiritual understanding, and ability to apply knowledge in a practical way and achieve enormous success. 

This is the number of the Master Builder and those with a 22 in their chart are able to turn your dreams into a reality. You are a great visionary and have the intuitive insights of the 11, combined with the practical nature of the 4, . If not practical, someone with this number can waste their potential. This individuals' goals are outside of their personal self as this person strives to serve the greater good of humanity. 

The downside of those with a Life Path number 22 would stem from the Challenges for someone with this number in being overwhelmed by their own potential, and fear of failure, and although they can be determined, they may at times seem dictatorial, insensitive, and overbearing. 

It can take someone with this number well into their adulthood before they manifest their dreams because they have to go through trials, and learning experiences before they mature enough to incorporate their true calling in their life. 

Those following Life Path of 22 are called master teachers, and as mentioned they are the most powerful of the life path numbers, endowed with many powers, and a unique talent for manifesting ideas into the realm of reality. Below are some key points you might want to take into consideration to help you on your path … 

Your thoughts have incredible power, so be careful what you focus on, because it will more than likely appear in your life, whether you like it or not. You are a classic case of "be careful what you wish for." 

Don't let yourself become obsessed with the ease of acquiring "stuff." Part of your lesson is to put your effort into the things that matter. You may also have to learn how to let go of the things that don't matter. 

Keep yourself organized. You will make yourself crazy if you don't. Have a place for everything. That goes for your bookkeeping, as well. 

It's not easy to go through life thinking of yourself as a teacher. You are one, whether you like it or not. You will influence people just by being around them. You are not teaching behavior or something concrete. Teach peace of mind and contentment in the present. Teach by example... 

http://seventhlifepath.com/numerology/life-path-number-22/

it only happens a few times

"I guess when you're young, you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times." 
Before Sunset

敏感的心靈在損耗下不再輕易張開，我想小秘密從此都只好放進小盒裡。
我明白為什麼我從小就是那樣獨來獨往，因為只有自己一個人，不猶疑地走，才走出快樂。
那些曾得到我信任而後來給我說風涼話的人，再見了！道不同不相為謀。